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The unknown can be a daunting concept for many of us, but for those dealing with anxiety, perfectionism, and a history of trauma, it can feel like navigating a storm without a compass. The uncertainty of life’s twists and turns often triggers an avalanche of worry, fear, and self-doubt. In this blog, we’ll explore why the unknown is particularly challenging for those grappling with anxiety and perfectionism, delve into practical coping strategies for managing these feelings, examine how past trauma can shape present triggers from an EMDR therapy perspective, and consider the broader role of EMDR in fostering healing and resilience.

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Why the Unknown Can Impact People with Anxiety, Perfectionism, and Trauma Experiences

The Challenge of Uncertainty

For many, the unknown represents a canvas of possibilities, but for individuals with anxiety and perfectionism, it often resembles a minefield of potential failures and unforeseen catastrophes. The lack of control and predictability associated with the unknown can be particularly distressing, as it disrupts the carefully constructed frameworks that help manage daily life. I believe this can manifest in many ways, but here are some of the most common I see on a regular basis.

Anxiety Creates a Need for Certainty: Anxiety thrives on uncertainty, feeding off the ambiguity of future events. For those with anxiety, the unknown is not just a void; it is a potential breeding ground for worst-case scenarios. This anticipatory fear can lead to a cycle of worry and rumination, where the mind fixates on what could go wrong. Which, surprise, surprise, leads to more anxiety and even panic.

Perfectionism and the Fear of Failure: People who struggle with perfectionism also often struggle with the unknown because it challenges their desire for flawless performance and control. The fear of not meeting high standards or making mistakes can be paralyzing, making it difficult to embrace uncertainty and the inherent risks of imperfection. This can lead to anxiety, panic, shutting down, irritability and an overall need for control.
Trauma and the Need for Safety: Trauma survivors may associate the unknown with danger and unpredictability. Past traumatic experiences can leave a lingering sense of vulnerability, making the unfamiliar seem threatening. The brain’s natural tendency to seek safety and avoid harm can intensify anxiety when faced with uncertainty.

I want to stress that all of these are really natural ways for the brains to react or respond based off experiences that taught someone that they need certainty, control, or complete and utter perfection to keep a feeling of safety and worthiness. Our brains are wired to take the path of least resistance, meaning if you’ve experienced enough events or stressors that taught you a specific way of functioning (say intense anxiety or perfectionism), your brain will likely try and predict things that you can do to keep you feeling safe.

Practical Coping Strategies When Faced with the Unknown

Navigating the unknown requires a toolkit of strategies to manage anxiety and reduce the impact of uncertainty. Here are some practical approaches to consider:

Check out these meditations and techniques if you’re looking for some “RIGHT NOW” tools and resources.

Embrace Mindfulness and Grounding Techniques

Mindfulness involves staying present and fully engaging with the current moment, which can help counteract the anxiety associated with worrying about the unknown.

Mindful Breathing: Practice deep, slow breathing to anchor yourself in the present. Focus on the sensation of your breath entering and leaving your body, which can help calm racing thoughts and reduce anxiety.
Grounding Exercises: Engage in grounding exercises that connect you with your physical environment. For example, try the 5-4-3-2-1 technique, where you identify five things you can see, four things you can touch, three things you can hear, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste.

The difficulty - When anxiety is present, our mind often jumps from one thing to another building the level of anxiety. The trick with mindfulness is to continue pulling your focus back to your breathing or the grounding exercise you are trying to do. If thoughts and emotions come up as you do this (as they will, because you are human and not a robot), practice labeling them as a thought, a memory, planning, emotion, body sensation as they come up. Just label the experience you are having and then immediately go back to breathing and grounding. This can help the monkey mind honor your experience while also working towards decreasing the anxiety level.

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Practice Acceptance and Self-Compassion

Acceptance and self-compassion involve acknowledging your feelings without judgment and treating yourself with kindness, especially during uncertain times.

Acceptance Statements: Use acceptance statements to remind yourself that it’s okay to feel anxious about the unknown. For example, “It’s normal to feel uncertain right now, and I’m doing my best to cope.”
Self-Compassion Breaks: Take self-compassion breaks when anxiety about the unknown feels overwhelming. Pause and offer yourself words of kindness and support, such as “I am here for myself, and I am doing the best I can.”

The difficulty - When a person has experienced repeated traumas and stressors, they often also experience some negative self-talk which can lead to acceptance and self-compassion activities feeling ingenuine. If this comes up, try to find the best most neutral phrase that feels true and authentic. For example, if “I’m doing the best I can” feels too lofty, break it down a step further. “In this moment, I am breathing and coping the best I can to deal with really difficult circumstances. In this moment I am doing exactly what I can right now.

Set Realistic Goals and Expectations

Setting realistic goals and expectations can help you navigate the unknown with more confidence and less pressure to achieve perfection.

Break Down Tasks: Break down larger tasks into smaller, manageable steps. This approach reduces the feeling of being overwhelmed and allows you to focus on one step at a time.
Set Flexible Goals: Set goals that are flexible and adaptable to changing circumstances. This allows you to adjust your plans as needed without feeling like you’ve failed if things don’t go as expected.

The difficulty - Again, our brains will work to find the path of least resistance. And so, to make sure this actually sticks, I often have clients write out the tasks, breaking them down and then setting reminders to help them be flexible with the goal itself. We do what we know and what habits we have built. Build the habit and set a system in place that will constantly remind you of the next step and that it is a step that can change and adapt with what’s going on.

How Trauma Impacts Present Triggers (From an EMDR Therapy Perspective)

Trauma can leave lasting imprints on our brains and bodies, influencing how we respond to present triggers, including the unknown. I am of course a little bias, since I am an EMDR therapist, but I believe that Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) therapy can offer a unique lens for understanding and addressing these impacts of trauma.

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The Legacy of Trauma

Trauma often creates neural pathways associated with heightened stress responses, which can be triggered by current situations that resemble or remind us of past traumatic events. In other words, our brain is wired to react in a given situation that reminds us of a past stressor or trauma (hello anxiety, shut down and intense rage). These triggers can be subtle and difficult to identify, but they often manifest as intense emotional reactions to seemingly neutral or minor events.

For example, say your young child drops a cup of milk and you feel an intense panic and irritability rise up within you and the need for control and orderliness within the house. And every time something like that happens you continue to feel it in your body. And you think “What’s the big deal? I know these accidents are just accidents. It cleans right up. Why is my reaction so big?” But perhaps in your childhood, perfection was demanded, and your caregiver would have yelled at you for accidents such as these. So, when this happens in the present day you experience the intense emotions you did back then and so does your body. Your brain has built that memory network over time to say this is how we react to this event. Below are two other types of triggers that may occur.

Memory Networks: Trauma can form specific memory networks that store the sensory and emotional components of traumatic events. When faced with uncertainty, these networks can become activated, leading to anxiety and other distressing emotions.
Sensory Triggers: The unknown can trigger sensory memories of past trauma, leading to physical reactions such as increased heart rate, muscle tension, or a sense of impending danger. These bodily responses can reinforce feelings of anxiety and fear.
Cognitive Triggers: The uncertainty of the unknown can activate cognitive distortions linked to trauma, such as beliefs that the world is dangerous or that one is incapable of handling challenges. These thoughts can perpetuate anxiety and undermine confidence.

EMDR Therapy and Trauma Triggers

EMDR therapy helps individuals process and reframe traumatic memories, reducing their emotional impact and breaking the cycle of triggers and reactions. Continuing on with the previous milk example - when those instances would happen, most likely, your brain and body learned it was unsafe to make mistakes, leading to a life of perfectionism and anxiety. And when triggers arise that remind your brain of those stressors and traumas from the past, it feels like your body is reliving it. EMDR can help your body and brain return to the now, working to shift the negative beliefs you might be holding, such as “I must be perfect all the time. Otherwise, I’m not worthy of love.”

It’s understandable how the unknown can trigger such a big response in people who struggle with anxiety, perfectionism, and past trauma, especially if beliefs such as these are hiding out in the background.

Here’s how EMDR addresses trauma-related anxiety about the unknown and other traumas:

Bilateral Stimulation: EMDR uses bilateral stimulation, such as eye movements or tapping, to help reprocess traumatic memories. This process can desensitize the emotional charge associated with these memories, making them less likely to trigger anxiety. This most closely mimics REM sleep that helps us process big emotions and events from the day
Adaptive Information Processing: EMDR aims to integrate traumatic memories into a broader, adaptive framework. This allows individuals to reinterpret their experiences and develop more positive beliefs about their ability to cope with uncertainty and change. This helps the individual shift that belief from “I must be perfect all the time, otherwise I’m not worthy of love” into “I’m working on being okay with making mistakes” or “I’m loved even if I’m not perfect.”
Targeting Present Triggers: EMDR can specifically target present triggers related to the unknown, helping to reduce their impact and build resilience. By processing these triggers in the context of past trauma, individuals can gain a sense of mastery over their anxiety. As we process past experiences with EMDR, I find that most clients experience a decrease in the amount of activation they feel when thinking about specific memories and then when what would have been triggers happen in their day-to-day, they’re able to handle them from a different perspective.

If you want to learn more about how EMDR therapy works and what it can look like, check out this blog: What to Expect from EMDR Therapy Phoenix

How EMDR Therapy Can Help on a Wider Scale with Anxiety, Perfectionism, and Trauma

EMDR therapy can be a powerful tool for addressing a wide range of issues related to anxiety, perfectionism, and trauma. Here’s how it can contribute to long-term healing and resilience:

Reducing Anxiety: EMDR helps individuals process the underlying trauma that contributes to anxiety, reducing the intensity and frequency of anxious thoughts and feelings. By addressing the root causes of anxiety, EMDR can lead to more lasting relief than traditional talk therapy alone.
Alleviating Perfectionism: EMDR can help perfectionists reprocess the experiences and beliefs that drive their need for control and flawless performance. By fostering a more compassionate and flexible mindset, EMDR can reduce the pressure to meet unrealistic standards and embrace a more balanced approach to life.
Helping Trauma Survivors Move Forward: EMDR is particularly effective for processing traumatic memories and reducing their emotional impact. By integrating these memories into a healthier narrative, individuals can break free from the cycle of re-traumatization and develop a stronger sense of safety and empowerment.
Enhancing Resilience: EMDR supports the development of adaptive coping strategies and positive self-beliefs, enhancing resilience in the face of uncertainty and change. By building on past strengths and creating new, adaptive narratives, EMDR helps individuals navigate the unknown with greater confidence and composure.

EMDR Therapist Phoenix and Tampa - Kandace Ledergerber.
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Navigating the unknown is a complex and challenging task, especially for those dealing with anxiety, perfectionism, and past trauma. By understanding the psychological mechanisms at play, implementing practical coping strategies, and exploring the transformative potential of EMDR therapy, individuals can find a path toward greater resilience and peace of mind. Remember, it’s okay to feel anxious about the unknown, and seeking support is a sign of strength, not weakness. As you continue your journey, may you find the courage to embrace uncertainty with an open heart and the knowledge that you have the tools to navigate whatever comes your way.

Navigating the unknown doesn’t have to be a solitary journey. Whether you’re grappling with anxiety, striving for perfection, or healing from past trauma, remember that support is available, and healing is possible. Take it one step at a time and be kind to yourself along the way.

If you are wondering if EMDR therapy may be a good fit for you, please reach out. I am happy to offer a free 15-minute phone consultation where we can figure out if I’m a good fit for what you’re looking for in your healing journey.

My Specialties Include EMDR Therapy, EMDR Therapy Intensives, Anxiety, Sexual Abuse, and Cycles of Family Trauma.

Facing the Unknown: Anxiety, Trauma, and EMDR Therapy Phoenix