When Trauma Becomes The Norm - It’s Still Traumatizing

Hi, my name is Kandace Ledergerber. I am a licensed mental health counselor and a registered yoga teacher in Florida.

So this week, I was supposed to be exploring more on a video series I've been doing regarding questions that I received the most often for EMDR therapy. However, because of recent events this last week, with yet another school shooting, I felt like some time needed to be set aside to explore some things related to trauma. I wanted to provide a space for those who need a break from the news and social media scrolling to find some validation in the emotions they may be experiencing.

I will start by sharing that as a therapist, often we are meant to be somewhat of a blank slate for our clients- not that we don't have emotions or that we are not human- but that we don't bring our own "stuff" or feelings into every session. This is a good thing because the point of a therapy session is not to focus on the therapist so our clients can feel safe to have their stuff explored and focus on their needs. On the other hand, transparency can also be an excellent thing for the therapeutic relationship, so people can see that we are, in fact human, and we can build trust. So this post and video are me being transparent.

As a therapist and mother, I have felt various emotions in the last week. I have felt frustration and anger that there is yet another school shooting. I've felt very sad for those impacted by the shooting or other shootings in the past, as I'm sure that each event like this brings up a lot of emotions for those individuals. I have also felt very helpless and sometimes fearful, questioning how to handle these situations with my baby in the future.

There is a saying we have regarding trauma and our reactions, and that is - these are normal feelings and normal responses to an abnormal event. And if you are like me and are experiencing a range of emotions right now, I want you to know that these are all very natural emotions to feel when something like this happens and when trauma happens. And unfortunately, these kinds of events have become something that is not out of the ordinary in more recent years. And as a mom and as a therapist who believes in mental health, who believes and mental illness, who believes that trauma happens to everyone in varying degrees, I know that what we're doing isn't working.

If you've found yourself feeling overwhelmed, tired, hyper-vigilant, anxious or afraid, helpless, angry or rageful, - I want to provide space here to let you know that that's a normal response to trauma. And also to remind you that you have to try and take care of yourself as much as you can. If you feel hyper-vigilant, and perhaps it's disrupting your sleep, or you're having intrusive thoughts throughout the day, I encourage you to take some time to care for yourself. Take a moment to tune out the news and scrolling on social media. Connect with the things and the people that fill your cup back up.

Change can't happen overnight, but change also can't happen out of fear and out of chaos. If this shooting or another shooting has impacted you, my heart goes out to you. I truly encourage you to find a space for healing, safety, and to breathe.

I hope this video and post have provided you with just a few minutes of encouragement and space. If you live in Florida and are looking for an anxiety therapist or EMDR therapy, please get in touch with me, and we can set up a time to chat to see if I'm a good fit for you. I can guarantee that I will do everything I can to find you a good fit if I'm not it. If you don't live within the state of Florida and you've come across this page and need help, I'd encourage you to contact me anyway; I can reach out to the network around me, and we can look for the help you want.

I hope you find some time for yourself to heal, find space and breathe.